Deadbeat Parents and Disappointments
by brttnytylr
Summary: A Puckleberry re-write of 'Theatricality' and 'Funk' If you haven't seen it, then SPOILER ALERT!
1. Theatricality

Ok. This is my first REAL fic. By 'real', I mean not inspired by music... or anything really. It just sortof came to me :)  
I would quickly like to thank the most amazing girl - theatre-geek17  
She took my beta virginity and is just awesome. I've only spoken to her a few times, but I would like her to know that I'm eternally greatful!

I really hope you like this!

* * *

When Principal Figgins told Puck that he was on "academic probation", the only opinion he had was along the lines of "Fuck that noise". That is until Figgins told him not so politely to get his act together or he would be expelled. So here he stood, eyes shut, next to Rachel's locker waiting for her to get out of class. He had his iPod on with the headphones plugged tightly into his ears. He was blaring some KISS, hopeful that they would drown out the rest of his day. Then, he felt someone pulling on one of the white headphones and looked down to see the midget he'd been waiting for.

"Sup' Berry?"

She frowned at him. "You tell me."

She was pissed, or maybe it was that time of month… Whatever, he had better things to freak out about.

"You're going to help me get out of academic probation."

She raised one of her perfectly sculptured brows at him and went to open her locker by turning the combination on the lock. "Am I now? Did you ever think that I might not want to help you out of this little predicament? We're not friends, Noah"

Ouch. He knew that would come back to bite him in the ass one day. She grabbed both of his arms (He thought he was imagining the way her hands lingered on his biceps) and placed them in front of him as a makeshift shelf. "Look, I really need your help ok? I'm not just out of Glee club or Basketball if I don't pass; I'm out of the school!"

She rolled her eyes and continued to sort through her books, placing the ones she'd need for her next class in his arms. "No need to be so dramatic, although you are quite convincing. You should audition for the next school play!"

Now it was his turn to roll his eyes. "I'll take it one thing at a time first, Rach. So will you help me or not?"

She smiled lightly and nodded at him, shutting her locker. She grabbed her books from his arms. "That wasn't a 'no'. Come over to my house after school an-"

"I have basketball practice after school"

She gave him a pointed look. "Well then come over after practice," She stated like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "Just let yourself in. The door should be unlocked."

He nodded as she walked away. He wasn't watching the way her skirt swayed around the backs of her thighs. Nope. Not him. He smirked.

* * *

Later that night Rachel was in her bathroom fixing her make-up. She wasn't doing it because Noah was coming over. That was preposterous! Noah was nothing, but a past fling and a boy who used to throw iced drinks on her.

_Doesn't mean you don't think his arms aren't lovely!_

She let out a coy smile as she ran a brush through her hair quickly. As she was leaving the room, she looked up to see Jesse placing a tape in the pink tape player she'd gotten for her 9th birthday. "Jesse, what are you doing here?"

Rachel frowned. She really hoped he wasn't doing what she thought he was doing.

"I said I was going to help you make your dreams come true." He gave her a slight smirk that she wanted to smack right of his face. Screw violence. This boy made her more than livid at times.

"NO! I'm not ready!" She quickly rushed to the player to shut it off.

"Yes… You are." He leaned down to kiss her lips, but she turned her head making his lips brush her cheek instead.

She would turn it off when he left. She would!

As Puck pulled up his truck in Rachel's driveway he noticed Jesse St Douche bag's car parked out in her driveway. He was going to be pissed if _he_ was going to be there tonight. One crazy girl was hard enough to deal with (not really), but two (yes, two) would surely be a nightmare! He grabbed his backpack and made his way to her front door. He was about to ring the bell when he remember that she said to let himself in. After turning the brass knob, he found it unlocked. As he walked inside he noticed that nothing had really changed from when he was last there.

_Well, you weren't really in the lounge room anyway._

He smirked as he remember that week he and Rachel had dated. The girl could kiss that's for sure, even though she hadn't let him touch her boobs. He made his way up the wooden stairs, watching his feet the entire time because falling _up_ the stairs? That was totally not badass. On the last few steps he bumped into Jesse.

"What are you doing here?"

The fucker even had the guts to look him in the eye!

"I'm here to bang your girlfriend. Move out of the way asshole."

So, maybe he was a bit ashamed that he was going to be kicked out of school if he didn't smarten up soon, but St Douche didn't need to know that. Puck made a move to continue to Rachel's room, but Jesse stopped him.

"Why the hostility? If your reputation is true then you should be the most relaxed guys in school, not the most uptight…"

Puck took a step forward, ready to put Jesse in his place, but heard a small voice.

"Noah, please don't."

They both looked over to see Rachel with her arms wrapped around herself. Her eyes looked watery and Puck wondered what Jesse the Douche Bag had said or done to her. Said douche bag put his hands up in surrender and backed down the stairs and called over his shoulder out the door, "Talk to you tonight Rach!"

Noah looked back to Rachel to see that she was already walking back to her room, waving her arm dismissing Jesse. He followed behind her with a frown on his face. She flopped down onto her bed staring at her ceiling. He lay beside her, his hands behind his head.

"Rachel?"

She didn't move. A talking Rachel Berry was scary, but a silent one? That was even scarier. It made him feel like kittens had been drowned or some shit.

"Rachel?" He tried again.

"What?" She never took her eyes of her ceiling.

"Are you alright?" He watched as a single tear slide down her cheek, followed by another and another and he wanted nothing more than to kiss them away.

_WHOA! Step back Puckerman! Kiss away her tears? What kind of pussy are you?_

"…No" She let out a choked sob and brought a hand to cover her mouth, which just muffled the noise. A look of fear crossed his face as soon as he heard it.

_Fuck, fuck, FUCK! GET OUT OF THERE NOW! LEG IT! SHOELACE IT! MISSION IT! GET THE FUCK OUT!_

His head screamed at him, but somehow his body reacted differently. He wrapped an arm around her shoulders pulling her close to him. Her hair smelt like berries, ironically. She had draped his form with hers (not that he minded) and sobs wracked her entire body. All Puck could do was rub his hand up and down her back with the hope that she'd stop crying soon. After a few minutes her sobs slowed down into sniffles and she sat up. She wiped her eyes away of any leftover make-up that had crusted underneath them. Puck just watched her as she daintily got up off the bed and made her way over to the tape player sitting on her desk. She lifted up a small, clear plastic case and opened it. She placed the tape inside it and carefully put it into a draw of her desk. She looked up at him.

"My mom made me a tape… It's of her singing. I didn't want to hear it, but Jesse put it on and I couldn't… DO anything. I just sat there listening to it."

Puck frowned. This is a situation he did not want to be part of. Torturing or humiliating kids? Sure. That was his niche (Shut the fuck up. He knows shit!), but deadbeat parents? Keep on moving. "What are you going to do?"

She was looking at the floor now. She lightly shrugged her shoulders and sniffled. "I have no idea." She looked up at him. "What do you think I should do? Do you think I should find out where she is and meet her?"

He let out a breath that he wasn't aware that he was holding. "I think you're asking the wrong guy, Rach. I mean seriously. Whe- _IF_ my dad came back and wanted to meet with me… To be honest I'd would beat him and leave him to die in a gutter somewhere."

More tears filled Rachel's eyes and her mouth dropped. "Surely you wouldn't!"

"I'm just saying, Rach. After all this time she hasn't wanted to meet with you. She hasn't tried to contact you once. Think realistically. She doesn't care."

Rachel looked away from him with tears threatening to fall from her eyes. "I need you to leave now."

He got up from her bed and grabbed his bag that he'd dumped on her floor. On his way out of her bedroom, he quickly turned around, bracing himself on her doorway.

"Rachel, I didn't mean to upset you, but I think meeting with her could be a really bad idea. You'll have expectations of her and all you'll get out of it is disappointment."

He gave a soft smile that didn't really reach his eyes and walked out the door.

* * *

Rachel was sitting up in the stands of Carmel High's auditorium with Quinn and Mercedes. They'd snuck in to watch Vocal Adrenaline's practice. Their coach Shelby was clapping the beat as they danced. They looked incredible in their red lace, Lady Gaga outfits. But apparently amazing wasn't good enough.

"STOP! This is terrible! Do you really think this-" She gestured to everyone standing on the stage. "Will make you win Regional's? Do not make me pull you out one by one to see what all your faults are in front of each other. Again from the top!"

They quickly raced to all their places and Shelby counted them in. They were dancing a substantial amount better than before and Rachel's breathing began to slow as doubt etched itself in her chest. If Vocal Adrenaline half assed it at Regional's then New Direction's might have a chance, but with them as good as they were, how were they going to beat them?

"Alright guys good job. We'll go through with singing now. Jesse? You ready?"

Rachel felt two arms smack her in the stomach, knocking the wind out of her. She looked over at Quinn who was speechless and heard Mercedes mumble something about taking someone to the carpet.

"No head gear for the first run through. I just want to hear how it sounds first."

Slowly all the members of Vocal Adrenaline took off the race lace that covered their entire head and soon Jesse St James' face was shown to the room. Rachel couldn't breathe. Everything she and Jesse had was lie. He only wanted her so that it would mess with her head. A million thoughts were running through her head as she second guessed her relationship with the Vocal Adrenaline lead. She felt herself slowly spiraling into depression. About a minute into their song, Shelby told them to stop.

"Yolanda, you're not singing with enough passion. Yes, you're all singing in perfect pitch and hitting the right notes, but there is no passion! Let me show you how it's done."

Yolanda stepped to the front of the stage where Shelby had been standing and watched as her coach went to the position that she had just been in. They all started singing again and Rachel felt her stomach drop. That voice, she knew it from somewhere. THE TAPE! Rachel sat up straighter.

The woman singing right now was her mother!

She got up from her seat, ignoring Quinn who was whisper yelling at her to sit back down and made her way down to the stage. As she walked down the steps to the floor, there were a million thoughts running through Rachel's head.

_Will she know who I am? Was she married? Does she have anymore kids?_

And the real million dollar question?

_Why didn't she want me?_

She was no more than 10 feet away from the stage now. She watched Jesse belt out the last few notes of the song, his voice only cracking slightly. She smiled inwardly. It made her happy knowing that they all weren't perfect. In fact it may have given her ego a little bit of a boost. She broke out of her daze by a woman yelling at her.

"Excuse me, but what do you think you're doing here? This is a closed practice!"

She opened and closed her mouth a few times before even having to courage to talk.

"I'm Rachel Berry."

The look that came across Shelby's face was pure shock, but also recognition. She knew exactly who Rachel was.

"I'm your daughter."

She heard a "GET BACK HERE WHITE BOY!" from the stands and looked over to see Jesse who was slowly trying to sneak off the stage.

"Practice is over. Everybody out, except you Rachel!"

Shelby threw her arms up in the air shooing them offstage. Jesse jumped down to Rachel and ran his hand through his curly hair.

"I… Uh…"

Rachel rolled her eyes. "You what Jess? You're sorry? You didn't mean to hurt my feelings? I don't even care anymore, so I'm leaving you before you can leave me. We're done."

She walked away from him, back towards the stands where Mercedes and Quinn were waiting. Smirking at the gobsmacked look upon Jesse's face. Quinn got a craving for Peanut Butter on stale bread so Mercedes drove her down to the bakery to give Rachel and Shelby some time alone. They sat opposite each other with the piano between them. They hadn't said anything to each other yet. Just stared at one another. Shelby had opened and closed her mouth a few times, as if she was going to say something, but never did.

"Why are you here Rachel?"

The awkward silence was broken.

"Isn't it obvious? You're my mother. I've always felt this part of me was missing and now that I've finally found you without even really looking, I want to know you and I want to know why you left me." Rachel watched Shelby's reaction. She watched as she took a deep breath and let it out in a sigh.

"I saw an ad in the paper from your dads asking for someone to be a surrogate. The money they were offering was enough to last me 4 years in New York. So I figured that I'd get a really nice place that was more expensive because surely I'd get a role on Broadway straight off the bat." Shelby fiddled with the edge of her silk button down top. A nervous habit, Rachel assumed. "I auditioned for Spring Awakening and didn't get it. I'd spent 9 months with you in my stomach for a chance at being great on Broadway and I got nothing in return."

She gave out a bitter laugh as tears fell down her face. Rachel's mouth dropped open.

"Are you telling me that you resent that I was born because you didn't get the lead in ONE show? I don't get leads all the time, but you know what you do? YOU MOVE ON! You audition for others, YOU KEEP TRYING!" Rachel stood up and began to collect her things. "You're a failure because you gave up. Not because you had me."

With that she walked out of the auditorium. She refused to let any of her tears fall. After Mercedes had dropped her home, she went to her room and threw all of her things in the corner with anger. She let out a feral growl and kicked things that lay on her carpet around her room. She ran to her desk, ripped open the draw and inside it held the clear plastic casing that had ruined almost any chance for her to have a mother. She snapped it in half with force and threw it in the direction of the bin. She was so sick of being let down and being led on. Everyone was so petty. They all needed to grow up; otherwise none of them would make it out of this cow town. She heard her phone beep, indicating that she had a new text message. She crossed her room to the corner where all her things laid in a pile and rummaged for her phone. She flipped it open and read the message.

_Hey, I have to look after my sister this afternoon. Can you come to my place so you can help me study? _

She had forgotten that Puck needed help with his school work. With a sigh, she typed back her reply letting him know that she would be there soon. As she was driving to Noah's house it started to rain heavily. She rested her elbow on the window ledge and put her head in the palm of her hand. This day could not get any worse. It really couldn't. By the time she pulled up in his driveway and run up to his front door she was soaked. She brushed the hair out of her face as she knocked on the wooden door. She only had to wait a few seconds before Puck opened the door quickly ushering her in. "Shit Rach, you're fucking soaked!"

Rachel could hear thumping coming from upstairs.

"NOAH SAID A BAD WORD! HE HAS TO PUT MONEY IN THE SWEAR JAR!" Puck's sister Sarah yelled from the top of the stairs. The giggles that came afterwards made Rachel smile.

"Yeah Noah, you have to put money in the swear jar now" She gave a little giggle at the glare he sent her.

"Don't patronize me, woman." He gave her a mock glare and walked into the lounge room where all his books were set up. "Just dump your bag here and I'll go and get you some of my sweats."

Rachel nodded as she wasn't really in a position to argue considering she was currently dripping water droplets onto his carpet. Puck ran upstairs and could be heard rustling through his draws. Rachel walked over to where his books were set up and had a look at what he'd written down. It was all his math work and she knew for a fact that he _never_ went to math, but all his answers seemed correct. The workings out were impeccable. Noah Puckerman was always surprising her.

She heard thumping coming down the stairs and saw Noah holding a pair of grey sweat pants and one of his red McKinley hoodies. She grabbed them from him with a grateful smile and made her way to the bathroom to get changed. When she came back into the lounge, she noticed that he was packing up his books. He looked up at her as the look of confusion crossed her face. He pointed a thumb towards Sarah who was watching Hannah Montana on the TV. Rachel tried to hold in her look of displeasure.

"It'll be quieter upstairs. I actually need to learn this stuff!"

Rachel nodded and followed him to his room. The walls were a dark blue and decorated with pictures of his favourite bands. There were multiple quotes painted across his walls… Or maybe they were lyrics?

_Why put a new address on the same old loneliness?_

_Now talking's just a waste of breath and living's is just a waste of death._

Puck threw his books onto his bed as his desk was otherwise occupied with video games and countless issues of FHM, Ralph and Playboy magazines.

"I think we should start with my math work cause that seems to be the subject I'm having the most trouble with."

Rachel looked at him shocked. Puck was holding out his math book, the one that had been sitting on the table in the lounge room. All the answers were right.

"…the answers are right, Noah."

He scoffed at her and thrust the book into her hands. Rachel relented and went through the entire book full of math problems and discovered that there wasn't one wrong answer.

"Noah, I promise you that there are no wrong answers in here. I wouldn't lie to you."

He looked up at her. "I won't lie to you either Rachel."

The way he was looking at her with such sincerity seemed to open the flood gates and Rachel let out a sob. She looked away from him, out the window. "You were right." She crawled over his books into his lap and sobbed into his shoulder, clutching the soft cotton of shirt in her hands. Confusion crossed Puck's face. What the hell was he right about? Math? "She was nothing, but a disappointment."

Realization etched onto his face. He wrapped his arms around her and couldn't help, but notice that she fit perfectly with his body. He buried his face into her hair. "I'm sorry Rach."

She lifted her head and kissed him softly on the lips. As soon as she realised what she'd done, she reeled back and quickly stood up off the bed. "I don't know why I did that… I'll uh; I'll see you tomorrow at school Noah"

She rushed out of the room and down the stairs. She got to the lounge room, grabbing her bag and was nearly out the door when she felt a hand grasp her arm lightly. She turned around only to have Puck's mouth mash against hers in a battle of teeth and tongues. They broke apart panting a few minutes later. Rachel untangled her hands from around Puck's neck, grabbed her bag and ran out the door without looking back.

* * *

The next day they were sitting in the auditorium. All Puck kept thinking about was the mini make-out session that happened in his front doorway. The only thing that broke him out his trance was when Mr. Schuester walked into the room.

"Little Monsters, take a bow."

He looked around the room and saw that all the girls (and Kurt) had dressed up in their Lady Gaga outfits and Rachel was nowhere to be seen.

"Wait, where's Rachel?" He noticed the looks that everyone gave him and quickly covered his tracks. "I mean, I only noticed because, like, 5 minutes have gone by without her saying something totally obnoxious."

Everyone nodded in agreement, until he heard Mercedes pipe up. "Rachel kind of got some intense news yesterday"

Puck gave a look of shock towards Mercedes.

_How the hell did she know about Rachel's mum?_

"We were spying on Vocal Adrenaline and-"

_Quinn too? _

She was cut off by Mr. Schue.

"You guys that's not fair! You've gotta stop doing that!" He smirked as Quinn and Mercedes slunk down into their chairs. "But a, you know, what'd you find out?"

Puck and Artie softly chuckled. Of course Schue would yell at them, but then use them to find out information.

"Ok, y'all ready? Miss Corcoran? Their coach? She's Rachel's mom."

Everyone looked at Mercedes in shock, including Puck. He had no idea that Shelby Corcoran was her mother.

"Are you serious?"

Rachel chose that moment to walk in the room. "I really do not want to talk about it… Or her. Ever again."

Puck looked (leered at) her up and down. She was wearing fishnet stockings and this black and white dress thing, with what looked like a Chess board glued to the front of it.

"Alright guys, why don't we talk about this later and try and focus on the song?"

Rachel nodded at Mr. Shuester's words. "I couldn't agree more. Hit it!"

What Puck was not expecting was for Kurt to belt out the first opening lines of "Bad Romance" as all the girls went on stage. The entire song he spent looking at Rachel. She watched him the entire time too, like she was trying to tell him something. It was certainly clear though that she was giving it her all. The other girls (and Kurt) looked amateur in comparison.

_You and me could write a bad romance!_

Once the song was finished, he didn't give a damn about what the other guys thought because he stood up and applauded them. He looked down to see Finn staring at him with a stunned look on his face.

"Dude! They we're fucking awesome!"

"Language, Puck!"

He slunk down sheepishly in his seat, giving Mr. Schue an apologetic look. The girls all came back down to where they were all sitting and awaited their teacher's next instructions.

"Alright girls… and Kurt, you get a 30 minute break whilst the boys get ready."

Rachel nodded and went to leave with everyone else until Noah stopped her. He rushed towards her and lightly grabbed her hand. She turned around, but he couldn't see her eyes because of the Gaga glasses. "I need you to help me out with something…" He looked to the ground. They hadn't spoken since the night before and he really didn't want things to be awkward between them.

She let go of his hand and took off her glasses. "Sure, what can I do for you?"

Ok, he's a dude and the tightness in his jeans right now? Totally because of the hot chick in front of him asking what she could do for him. The spank bank had totally just been opened. He gave her a smirk, to which she slapped him softly on the arm whilst giggling.

* * *

She was sitting in his lap; much like that day he'd been slushied. Only this time she wasn't cleaning flavoured ice off his head.

"Noah, stop shifting. I'll stab you in the eye!"

Rachel was holding a black eye liner pencil and trying to draw the Star of David over his eye, but to no avail. Puck kept moving out of the way of the offending pencil and causing Rachel to nearly draw on his eye every time. She stood up and placed her legs on either side of his, straddling his lap.

_Ok, things are about to get x-rated!_

The tightness in his jeans was returning and he closed his eyes and tried to think of anything that would make all the blood rushing south retreat. Quickly!

"We are all done, Noah."

"Wha?"

He opened his eyes to see Rachel putting the cap back on the pencil and throwing it towards the bag full of all the other make-up. She put her arms on his shoulders and made a move to get off him, but his hands on her hips were stopping her. "…What if I don't want us to be done?"

Rachel looked down at her fingers that rested in her lap. "Noah, please. Don't do this."

He rolled his eyes. "Do what Rachel? You kissed me first last night. Don't run away now."

She looked away from him with tears brimming in her eyes. "I don't know what I want anymore." Her voice cracked slightly. "I'm just so… sick of being wrong and being let down. I don't know if my heart can take it anymore."

He moved his head to look her in the eyes. "I told you before that I wouldn't lie to you and I'll try not to let you down. Just give me a chance" She didn't even answer him. She just pressed her mouth against his in a bruising kiss.

"Wait" Kiss. "Berry." Kiss. "Rachel" Kiss.

She finally pulled away long enough for him to talk.

"What about Jesse?"

She kissed him again.

"We're over. He went back to Vocal Adrenaline."

Somewhere in the back of his mind comprehended that Jesse St. James had gone back to Carmel High leaving New Directions with even less of a chance at winning Regional's, but all he could think of was how good Rachel's lips felt. He moved his arms from her waist to wrap around her back, pulling her closer to his body. He could faintly hear the door to the bathroom opening, so he opened one eye to see Matt and Mike entering the bathroom in their KISS outfits. They saw Puck and Rachel practically sucking each other's faces off and went to make a comment before they noticed that Noah was waving them out of the room. They complied and slowly walked out in their platform shoes whilst flipping Puck the bird. Puck smiled against the brunette in his lap's lips. Mike looked fucking hilarious in his KISS outfit.

_Oh fuck. KISS outfit. Performance. RIGHT NOW!_

He pushed Rachel's shoulders away from him, instantly detaching their lips. She gave him a hurt and confused look.

"As much as I would love to continue this, I'm supposed to be performing. Like now!"

The hurt and confused look was now replaced with an alarmed one as she took in his ruined make-up due to their impromptu make-out session. She got up off his lap and rushed over to the black make-up case, grabbing a red lipstick tube and some white foundation. She gave him one last kiss before coating his face with a new set of make-up. Rachel rushed towards the auditorium. She opened the door and tried to contain her smile. For once she was just truly happy and she intended on staying that way for the rest of the day. "Sorry, I'm late."

Screw containment. She was damn happy and may as well let the whole word know it!

"Whoa, looking good Rachel!" Mercedes noticed how happy her friend was as soon as she walked into the room.

Brittany looked up confused. "Mercedes, she was wearing that this morning. Duh!" Everyone just stared at her in amazement, but let it go anyway.

"Well, we're all here so without further a due, I would like to introduce the boys!"

Mr. Schuester pointed towards the stage which had the dark red velvet curtain drawn across it.

"Lima, Ohio! Get ready to rock!"

The curtain was pulled off the stage to reveal all the boys in their KISS gear. The girls (and Kurt) all screamed, danced and sang along with them. Once they had finished they all took a bow whilst they all continued to scream for them.

"Alright guys. Very impressive. Very… LOUD! But what does that performance express? And what do those costumes illustrate?"

Mike gave a large smile. "We did our research Mr. Shue!"

A breathless Puck took over. "Yeah. Finn's demon looks are because Gene Simmons liked comic books as a kid and they called Paul Stanley the Star Child because he was romantic or something, but that doesn't really explain my whore lips"

He threw a wink at Rachel which didn't go by unnoticed to the rest of the club. Rachel just kept smiling and didn't listen to anything else anyone was saying until she was knocked out of her reverie by Finn smashing the massive symbol behind him. Rachel was at her locked putting books away and trying to fit her Gaga outfit inside it. Her attempts were feeble at best until she felt two arms pushing her things inside her locker with more force. She looked up to see Noah back in his normal clothes with his make-up taken off smiling down at her. He leaned down towards her ear. If anyone else was looking, it would have looked like he was whispering smutty things to her, but not so much this time.

"Are you going to come over after school today?"

He kissed her neck softly and Rachel tried to hold in a moan.

"Uh… why?"

He slowly started rising and kissing her jaw line before answering.

"Cause I still need help studying"

He stopped kissing her altogether now. She tried to hide her look of disappointment. She was expecting him to make a lewd comment and her to shoot him down completely, but instead he asks her to do something completely innocent? Who was he turning into? Better yet, who was he turning _her_ into?

"Why? What else did you have in mind?" he asked her with a wiggle of his eyebrows and the ever present smirk.

_Oh. There he was._

They were lying on his bed after 5 straight hours of studying and nothing else. He didn't need as much help as he thought, but it was still nice to have Rachel there just in case. He wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her closer to his body. In return she threw her legs over his and cuddled into his side. It was starting to rain again and the sound was slowly taking her over to a land of sleep. "Don't fall asleep yet, Rach"

Her body jerked in reaction to him speaking, but slowly went back into its relaxed state as she sat up. "I was just resting my eyes."

She leaned up and kissed him softly on the corner of his mouth. He turned his head and kissed her on the lips. For a few moments they pecked at each others mouths before going back to peaceful silence. He ran his fingers over her knuckles before telling her something he hadn't told anyone.

"I met up with my dad a few weeks ago."

She raised her head so fast he thought she might have whiplash. Her mouth dropped open. He didn't look at her, just continued talking.

"He rang my mobile. I don't know how he got my number. I didn't ask. He just told me to meet him outside Rinky Dinks."

Rachel ran her hand over his stomach in a soothing motion.

"So I met with him. He was just leaning against the side of the building. I don't even know what came over me, but all I could think of was how much I wanted to hurt him like he hurt me"

She remembered what he'd said that day in her house.

_I'd probably beat him and leave him to die in a gutter somewhere._

"He even had the guts to ask me for money because he'd gambled it all away. So I beat him. The jerk off didn't even see it coming. One punch and I knew he was out, but all I could do was keep hitting and kicking him. It was like I wasn't even in control of my body" He looked down to see Rachel with tears silently streaming down her face. She was probably imagining it clear as day in her head. He looked back up. "The fucker lived though. April Rhodes came out and pulled me off him, told me go home and she called an ambulance."

Rachel raised her hand up to her face to wipe away the tears that dared to fall. She never wanted anyone to feel like that they needed to _kill_ someone in order to feel better inside. Puck looked down at her, pulling her face to look at his.

"That's why I didn't want you see your mum. I didn't ever want you to feel like I did that day!"

Rachel pulled his face towards his and kissed him roughly. He needed to know that he was so much more than some loser from a small town. This was the only way she figured she would get across to him. And it worked. In that moment, the future looked a lot brighter.


	2. Funk

I didn't disclaim in the first half, but this entire fiction is not mine. It's Fall Out Boy's (Yeah, I managed to slip them in there), Shawshank Redemption's and Glee's.

I just wanted to quickly say thankyou once again to theatre-geek17. She beta'd the whole thing and didn't yell at me when there was obvious mistakes.  
Another quick thankyou to the girls on twitter. You know who you are ;) You make me smile every day with your antics.

So this is the last part. It was actually really hard to write. I knew where I wanted to go, but the getting there was a bitch.

*NOTE* Rachel is a tad OOC, I blame hormones. Not my shitty writing.

I hope you enjoy it :)

* * *

Vocal Adrenaline had just finished belting out "Another One Bites The Dust" and they all had expected New Directions to be put in a funk. To be depressed. To be thrown off their game, leaving Regional's for the taking. What they didn't expect? One Rachel Berry smirking, her eyes lit with amusement whilst applauding them. She placed one her hands upon her boyfriends, which was wrapped around her waist and pushed it off her. She stepped forward with her arms folded over her chest and jutted her hip to the side. "Well done guys, really, but maybe you want to come back when your group has some emotional depth like ours?"

She smiled widely as she heard all of New Directions behind her.

"Buurrrnnnnn"

Matt gave Mike a high five and she heard Puck chuckle from behind.

* * *

**A week beforehand**

"Funk! Use it in a sentence."

Mr. Schuester looked pointedly at the group of teenagers sitting in his choir room. The just stared back at him with blank looks on their faces. Except for Rachel and Puck. The couple was a bit too occupied with becoming acquainted with the insides of each others mouths.

"Puck and Rachel!"

Rachel jumped and brought a hand to her chest. "Mr. Schu, I'm terribly sorry. What was the question?"

He gave them a look and repeated himself. "Use the word 'Funk' in a sentence."

Her brows furrowed in thought. "Uh… This cheese smells funky?"

"That's cause' its fromunda cheese."

She smiled and smacked him in the stomach. "Shut it, Puckerman."

Puck raised his hand to where she hit him and feigned pain, along with a puppy dog face. "Ouch baby, you wound me!"

She gave him a condescending look as she whispered. "Aw, poor baby. Want me to rub it better?"

He leaned closer towards her ear. "I know something else you can rub"

She giggled and they began kissing again. Mr. Schuester rolled his eyes knowing that they wouldn't be coming up for air anytime soon and just continued on with the lesson. "Okay, okay. I was thinking more along the lines of 'Vocal Adrenaline can't do funk numbers'"

Rachel ripped her mouth away from Puck, causing him to fall forward and smack his jaw on her shoulder. He rubbed it lightly before leaning back in his chair. Mr. Schuester had her full attention now.

"Vocal Adrenaline has never once done a funk number. They're a machine. A collective, synthesized, soulless beat. Funk is soul meets anger. It's passion in its emotion and Vocal Adrenaline does not perform with any! So you have your assignment. I want you guys to turn McKinley high into-"

One of the band members gave Mr. Schu a drum roll.

"Funky town."

As Rachel and Puck walked down the hallway, she couldn't help, but feel completely overjoyed. Vocal Adrenaline can't do funk numbers. Every time she thought that her entire body just reacted with tingles and just pure… happiness. She could be lying in a gutter somewhere dying, with no arms or legs and if she just thought those magical 6 words; _Vocal Adrenaline can't do funk numbers_, then the lying in the gutter part wouldn't become so scary and she would die smiling. She walked a little bit in front of her boyfriend, still holding his hand and span around a few times. Her laughter was contagious and Puck found himself laughing with her.

"Jesus Christ, you're crazy today!"

She rested her back against the lockers with her hands clasped behind his neck. "I'm happy, sue me!"

He smiled and leaned forward kissing her softly on the lips till she opened her mouth, begging for more. He complied by slipping his tongue into her mouth and grinding the bottom half of his body into hers. He detached his mouth from hers and trailed kisses down her neck. Rachel let out a moan, hitching her legs around his hips. Puck automatically grasped the backs of her thighs and grinded himself closer to her as he grinned into the side of her neck. This was more action than he ever got with Santana at school.

Mr. Schu walked down the hallway and noticed the couple who very obviously were not opposed to PDA. "Come on you guys! There's a time and a place for that and it's not here on school grounds!"

Rachel detached her lips from Noah's and Puck kept pressing soft kisses down her neck. She smiled sheepishly at her teacher, a blush creeping across her cheeks. "Sorry Mr. Schu."

She tried to untangle her legs from around Puck's waist, but he held her there. "If you fucking move like that, I'll cum and that shit is neither kosher nor badass." He rested his forehead on her shoulder and she swore she could hear him mumbling about a mailman?

* * *

**Now**

"Alright baby, retract the claws, please."

Puck walked up behind Rachel, wrapping his arms around her waist and burying his face in her hair.

"I'm sure that Vocal Adrenaline can let them selves out"

New Directions slowly filed out of the room and walked back to their choir room, only to discover that toilet paper littered every surface. All of their jaws dropped open in surprise. Puck still had his arms around Rachel as she reached up to his head and dragged it down to her ear.

"Whatever you're planning on doing to them, I want in"

He kissed the skin behind her ear softly and gave his reply. "You got it baby"

Rachel was dressed in black skinny jeans with one of Noah's old football hoodies on waiting for him to pick her up from her house. Ever since she they were together again, she just felt _free_ all the time. When she was lusting (yes, lusting. She refused to remember how idiotic she acted around him.) After Finn she felt trapped, like she couldn't change in fear of pushing him away.

But with Noah everything she did, he loved. He noticed the small things, where as Finn didn't notice anything. Noah made her feel like when Andy Dufresne escaped the prison in "Shawshank Redemption". Everyday with Noah, she had escaped prison. When she heard his rusty truck pull up into her driveway, she grabbed her phone, kissed her dads goodbye and ran out the front door. He was leaning against his car with his arms crossed over his chest and when he saw her, he gave out a low whistle.

"Lookin' good Rach."

She smiled softly, her cheeks darkening with a soft red color. It was so silly that little comments got her blushing so easily. He walked forward placing his hands on her hips. She reached up and kissed his lips gently.

"Is that my hoodie?"

She giggled lightly. "I don't know what you're talking about Mr. Puckerman. This is mine."

He scoffed and gave her a small smile. "Alrighty then, Miss. Berry, let's get this show on the road then."

She smirked and jumped up into his truck.

* * *

"Slashing their tires? Really? That's all you could come up with?"

Rachel sat cross legged in the front of Puck's truck facing him.

"Well it's not like I had a lot of notice and these guys will sue me if I wanted to pull other shit!"

"So then we better not get caught then." Rachel threw a wink at him and jumped out his truck, taking one of his pocket knives with her. Puck quickly grabbed his other one and ran after his girlfriend, locking his truck with the click of a button.

* * *

They got caught and it sucked ass.

Puck sat in Principle Figgins' office and made himself comfortable in his usual chair. He'd spent enough time in the room to notice any changes there may have been. "Did you get the chairs restuffed again?"

"Yes, Noah. I went to that place at Lima mall this time though."

Puck nodded in understanding. "Yeah, that place you went to last time made them to hard. Fucking had a bad back for the rest of the day."

Rachel sat next to her boyfriend in the other chair just surveying the conversation playing in front of her. What the hell was this? The Twilight Zone? The door to the office slammed open and in stormed Shelby Corcoran with Mr. Schuester and Coach Sylvester behind her. Rachel didn't turn around, but she could feel Shelby's presence behind her chair.

"Are these the students who did this?"

Rachel slunk down in her seat hoping Shelby wouldn't see her. The last time she saw Rachel was when she was storming out. A pretty damn spectacular storm out actually.

"Yeah, I did it and I'm proud. All I did was step up and be a man. They got what was coming to them!" Puck sat up in his seat straighter and looked over to his girlfriend.

Rachel raised a hand to her face, covering it and slunk even further into her chair. Surely if she hoped hard enough she wouldn't be in this room right now, ignoring that massive elephant. Shelby moved around to face Puck.

"A few of my students teepeed your choir room, you slashed the tires on the Range Rovers of all 26 of my performers. Those were gifts for our win at Sectionals. That's 200 times 26 times 4 equals… I don't have a calculator."

"$20,800."

Everyone wiped their heads to look at Puck, who sheepishly sat back in his chair.

"Uh… I'm sorry, but you bought all your kids Range Rovers?" Mr. Schuester spoke up with a look of disbelief on his face. Sue just nodded towards the Vocal Adrenaline coach in understanding. Shelby waved off his look with a flick of her hand.

"We have a very active booster club."

Mr. Schu rolled his eyes and continued on. "Look, nobody got hurt. It was a harmless prank."

Sue cleared her throat and began to unwind her long speech about one of America's President's when Shelby cut her off. "Rachel? What are you doing here?"

She looked out of the corner of her eye to see Shelby with a look of shock across her face. "…I slashed Vocal Adrenaline's tires… Were you even listening just now?"

The shock was now replaced with confusion. "But why did you do it?"

Mr. Figgins was done with this conversation already. "Enough. These students have committed a felony. They are here-by expelled!"

Puck smacked his head onto the back of his chair mumbling about how his mother was going to absolutely murder him and Rachel stood up in outrage. "What? Are you joking right now?" She turned to look at Shelby. "You! Every time you come into my life, something goes wrong. You told me in not so many words that you regretted my birth and now you've gotten me expelled! You're toxic!"

There were tears brimming in her eyes as she sat back down. She felt Puck grab her hand, giving it a comforting squeeze.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. I don't want anyone to be expelled. I'm not pressing charges! Just as long as you apologize we can put this whole mess behind us."

Everyone in the room looked at her with their jaws slack.

"I mean, come on Will." She bumped his shoulder with her own. "You were in Glee club, remember all the things that you used to do to the other teams?"

"Yeah, but not-"

Puck pushed his chair back resulting in running over Mr. Schuester's foot. They were in the clear and his dumb ass Spanish teacher was going to fuck it up. Rachel stood up, pressing down her skirt.

"Thank you Miss Corcoran. It won't happen again." Rachel reached down and grabbed Puck's hand pulling him out of his chair, which made it go back again and run over Schu's foot again. They walked out of the room together.

"I guess we're all done here."

Shelby walked out of the room and Mr. Schuester gave out a high pitched thank you as he buried his head in the chair in front of him whilst holding his foot. Rachel and Puck walked down the school hallway on their way to the auditorium. He wrapped and arm around her shoulders and pulled her close to him.

"I've got to admit baby. I really didn't think the guilt trip would work."

She gave a coy smile. "I don't know what you're talking about. There was no guilt trip. What you saw in there was pure emotion."

He scoffed. "Right and we're not just about to smoke Vocal Adrenaline."

* * *

"Thanks for coming." She smirked at all of Vocal Adrenaline as they sat in the audience of McKinley High's auditorium. "After your braising escalation of our growing dispute, which we were willing to put to rest! We decided that the only way too truly funk-ify you, is to show you the one thing we know you can't do. So enjoy."

As Puck stood behind the massive Projector sheet, he couldn't help, but go over the choreography in his head. Hearing his girl stand up for them was such a turn on. He looked over to see Matt two places down from him.

"Psst! Matt!" The footballer looked over to see Puck talking to him via sign language. Well, it wasn't really sign language. Just a bunch of actions he'd seen people playing baseball doing. He rolled his eyes.

"Dude. What is it that you want?"

"Trade places with me."

Matt couldn't believe him. "What? Now?"

Puck nodded. Matt sighed and gave in. "Just don't fuck up"

The music started and as Rachel made her way behind the screen with the rest of them Kurt made his way out. Rachel quickly glanced over at everyone and her eyes bugged out of her head when she noticed the change in positions. Puck just winked at her and looked forward. They all made their way out onto the stage and began to sing and dance. This by far was one of their favorite performances. Every single one of them felt cocky and just oh so much better than Vocal Adrenaline in those three minutes singing and dancing. Rachel could see why Puck had wanted to change positions with Matt. There was that one bit of choreography with him that she knew would make Puck go all "protective boyfriend" on Matt and said bit of choreography was coming up.

Puck strutted over to her, with a smirk firmly planted on his face. Rachel began to roll her hips in his direction and Puck crouched down and ran his hands over the back of her legs. He stood up quickly, kissed her lips and went to his next position. When they all came together in a close huddle, he put his arm around her hips resting his hand on her ass, whilst she ran a hand up his leg dangerously close to his crotch, whilst winking at him. Mr. Schuester from side stage laughed as he watched them kill it in the last few moments in the song. As Mercedes finished her last line he began to clap along with the rest of the club.

Puck slung his arm over Rachel's shoulder and walked them off stage. "See you Punks at Regional's."

Rachel quickly looked over to see all of Vocal Adrenaline's faces looking flustered with panic. She blew a kiss to them all and entangled her fingers with the hand across her shoulder.


End file.
